


Rock Solid Panda's Debut Tour

by HeavensMostAdorable



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec/Magnus - Freeform, Background ships:, Brief Mentions of Attempted Rape, Clary/Jace - Freeform, Izzy/Lydia, M/M, band!au, not enough mention to put the archive warning on it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6978640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavensMostAdorable/pseuds/HeavensMostAdorable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon was living the life.</p><p>His band was famous and doing well, he got to travel and make art with his friends, he was the happiest he’s ever been in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Portland

Simon was living the life.

His band was famous and doing well, he got to travel and make art with his friends, he was the happiest he’s ever been in his life.

Rock Solid Panda was on its first tour, and so far it was going great. The fans were responsive and incredibly sweet, and so far there hadn't been any drama in the band since Camille.

Camille was Rock Solid Panda’s former manager, and she was...well...honestly she made Simon uncomfortable. She did amazing things for the band, yes, but she always stirred up trouble and she was always _touching_ him. Like _all_ the time.

And then there was that night at the bar.

Simon was nearly pass out drunk that night, and was completely helpless when Camille pounced. If it hadn't been for Jace and Clary, Camille would have had her way with him. After that he had no choice but to fire her.

Simon pushed those thoughts aside. Now wasn't the time to think about that. The lead singer and guitarist smiled and waved at his fans, signing things and answering questions as he went.

“Hey, Simon!” Jace, the lead guitarist who had a gigantic following waved at him, a huge grin on his face.

“Jimon’s is real, right baby?”

“Hell yeah, it is!” Simon laughed, holding his heart and pointing at his friend.

“Should I be offended?” Clary, the backup singer giggled at the two of them before kissing Jace on the cheek.

“You both are idiots.” Alec, the drummer, rolled his eyes. “Come on, Izzy and Mags are waiting on the bus.”

Simon spotted Izzy, the bassist, waving from the bus. “Alright, guys! We gotta go! We all hope to see you soon!” Simon waved as he started heading to the bus.

Jimon, he couldn't help but laugh at the thought. Shipping used to be a weird thought, but now it was pretty funny. Jimon seemed to be the most popular, and there was also Jalec, Climon, Sizzy (there was also Clalec for a while after Alec came out, but the band spoke publicly to stop the ship). Some of the band members were in relationships, but Jace and Clary were the only band mates who were together. Alec had his boyfriend Magnus, who traveled around with them and was their costume designer and makeup artist when they needed it. Izzy had her girlfriend, Lydia, who worked as a lawyer. That just left Simon, not that he really minded.

“Wonderful job, darlings!” Magnus exclaimed when they all arrived into the bus, giving Alec a brief kiss. “Raph’s off to get you all some food, then we’ll head off to Seattle.”

Jace started walking past Simon. “Nice job tonight, babe.” He said grinning, smacking Simon’s ass. Simon laughed and shoved Jace’s arm. “Magnus, when do you think Raphael will be back?”

“In a few minutes, Scott.” Magnus replied without looking at him.

Simon rolled his eyes and headed to where he and the other guys slept. Raphael was their new manager and one of Magnus’s friends. He hadn't been on the team too long, but he seemed pretty cool. At least he wasn't groping him every other minute without asking.

Flopping onto his cot, Simon groaned. He had fun, but he was absolutely exhausted.

“You alright, buddy?”

Simon looked up at Jace. “Yeah, just tired.”

“Guys! We got food!”

At Alec’s call, everyone gathered around to take a burger and fries from Raphael.

“Thanks, Raph.” Simon patted his shoulder.

“ _De nada, estrella de rock_. Before you eat, I got a call for you while I was picking up food. You want to answer it?”

“Yeah, outside where it’s quieter.” The two men headed out of the bus and to a secluded spot where there were no fans or crew to be seen. Suddenly, Simon was shoved up against a brick wall and cool, soft lips met his.

“You did so well tonight, _mi estrella. Mi amor_.”

Raphael's words were mumbled against Simon’s skin, his mouth moving down to the younger man’s neck with just the slightest hint of teeth.

“I’m so proud of you, _cariño_.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Your band is on its first big tour, and you’ve never been more talented.”

Simon let out a shuddering sigh as his head rested back on the wall. “Jesus, Raph…” He breathed.

Simon really wasn't in a relationship, really. What he and Raph were...it wasn't quite there. Especially since Simon didn't know the hell he felt sexually.

~

**“Are you gay?” Raphael asked after one of their first make out sessions.**

**“No. I’m not.”**

**“Bi, then?”**

**“I...I don't know. I like both guys are girls, but...I don't know, bi doesn't feel right. You know?”**

**“I understand, _mi estrella_. Don't rush anything, you can discover yourself at your own pace.”**

~

Simon’s train of thought was interrupted by Raphael's body grinding against his.

“Shit, Raph...feels good.”

Raphael chuckled against Simon’s neck, his fingers brushing through the other man’s hair. “We should get back, your food might get cold. Or Jace might have eaten it.”

Simon chuckled softly, resting his head on Raphael’s shoulder. “Yeah...okay, just gimme a second.”

They stood together quietly, their arms wrapped around each other until they straightened themselves up and headed back to the bus where Jace was, indeed, about to eat Simon’s food.


	2. Seattle: Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RSP travel to Seattle and take a day to wander and relax before the concert the next night. A special guest joins them for the day, and Raphael and Simon have a brief chat about Simon's sexuality and Simon reveals what happened with Camille to Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowee two chapters in one day!
> 
> This chapter's a bit shorter, but I got everything that I wanted in it so hopefully you guys like it! Next chapter will probably take a little longer.

The next stop on Rock Solid Panda’s tour after Portland was Seattle, which would roughly take four hours (which meant they would arrive around 3 am since the bus left around 11). The band plus Raphael and Magnus slept through the four hours of travel and three more hours after that. By the time they woke up, the bus was parked by the venue of tomorrow night’s concert.

 

After a lot of grumbling and throwing on sweatpants and baggy shirts, the group headed off the bus and to a diner nearby for breakfast.

 

“Guess who’s visiting today!” Isabelle had a huge grin on her face, holding her phone.

 

“Lydia finished her case? How’d it go?” Alec asked, trying to sneak a look of her sister’s phone.

 

“She won, of course!”

 

Izzy squealed and jumped up at the sound of her girlfriend’s voice. “Lyddie!” The two girls hugged and kissed each other happily. Everyone else got up from their seats to greet the blonde, all with happy smiles on their faces.

 

“Oh, Lydia, this is Raphael. He’s our new manager.” Simon gestured to the man behind him.

 

“Good to meet you.”

 

“You, too. You better take care of these guys.”

 

“Don’t worry, I will.”

 

~

 

Since the concert wasn’t until the next night, everyone decided to split up. Jace and Clary went to an art museum, Izzy and Lydia and Magnus and Alec went to go shopping together, and Simon decided to go to a park with Raphael.

 

It was nice, actually, just taking a casual stroll with the other man.

 

“So, how long have Lydia and Izzy been together?”

 

“About a year, Lydia met Alec first at some party and he introduced her to Izzy. They started going out officially a few months later.”

 

Raphael nodded. “That’s sweet.”

 

Simon chewed on his lip and glanced at Raphael. “I understand if you want something li-”

 

“No, Simon. I don’t want anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you want something like that when you’re ready, I’d be glad to do that.”

 

Simon went quiet, looking at the ground.

 

“...Sexuality is confusing, _mi estrella_. But I know that you’ll figure it out one day. Give yourself time, and no matter what you do, I’ll be there for you.

 

The younger man smiled gently at Raphael.

“Thank you, Raphael.”

 

The older man pointed to a secluded bench, placed by a large tree. “Let’s sit here.” The two men sat close to each other on the bench, Raphael’s arm wrapping around Simon’s shoulders.

 

“Simon...may I ask you something?”

 

“Yeah. What is it?”

 

“...I never got the full story about Camille. What happened?”

 

Simon’s eyes widened, his head snapping to look at Raphael. “W-what...why?”

 

“Is everything okay? What happened, Simon?”

 

The younger man stared at the ground. “She, uh…after the tour was announced we were all so excited, so we all went to a bar. Even Lydia and Magnus were there. I guess I got really excited, I drank a lot that night and I hardly remember anything. I think I went to go sit down and chill out, and...and there Camille was. She always had been really, like, touchy around me.” Simon ran his fingers through his hair. “She tried to...uhm... _force_ herself on me. I remember her on my lap, whispering stuff in my ear, trying to get my...my zipper down. I was trying to get her off me, but...but I was drunk out of my mind. Jace and Clary saved me, I’m pretty sure I saw Clary _backhand_ Camille, I’ve never seen her so angry.”

 

“ _Dios,_ Simon.”

 

“We...we didn't want a big scandal, especially since the tour was announced, so we just didn't explain anything fully. Just that we wanted a new direction or some shit.” He laughed coldly. “I was so pathetic...I couldn't sleep properly for days until Clary finally came over to my apartment one night and snuggled with me until I fell asleep. It was the only way I felt safe.”

 

Raphael stared at Simon in shock.

 

“ _Cariño_ …”

 

“Don't. Don't...d-don't try to baby me. I’m…” He buried his face in his hands.

 

“ _Mi estrella,_ look at me.” Raphael slowly reached out and tilted Simon’s head upwards, giving Simon time to pull away.

 

Their kiss was soft and gentle, full of quiet and passionate love. “I’ll never let anything like that happen to you, _cariño._ You’ll be safe as long as I’m around.”

“Thank you Raphael.”

 

~

 

The group met up again that night and decided to go dancing together. Well, except one person.

 

“ _Come on,_ Raph.”

“Come have fun with us!”

 

“No thanks, _amigos._ Believe it or not, I have paperwork to do. You all have fun.”

 

~

 

And fun they had.

 

Everyone was reasonably tipsy by the time they migrated to the dance floor. Only Alec and Simon were left at the bar.

 

Simon stared at Alec nervously. He wanted to ask the taller man something but...but then he’d had to reveal some private things about himself.

 

**Fuck it.**

 

“Hey, uh, Alec...can I ask you something?”

 

“I’m not going to dance.”

 

“No, no...it isn’t that. It’s...it’s really important and I want it to be between us.”

 

Alec glanced at Simon, one brow raised. “Is something wrong?”

 

“No. Well, kind of.” Simon sighed. “How did you know you liked boys?”

 

Alec’s eyes widened. “Simon, are you-”

 

“No! Well...I don’t know…”

 

“Are you bi, then? I could mention it to Mags if you want.”

 

“I...I don’t know what I am. I like girls, and I recently realized I like guys, too. But, bi just doesn’t...it doesn’t seem right you know?” Simon downed the rest of his drink. “I’m seeing a guy.” He admitted.

 

“Who?”

 

“Well, not really _seeing_ we’re just doing...I don’t know, _something_ until I figure-”

 

“Simon, who is it?”

 

“It’s Raphael.”

 

“I _knew_ it.”

 

“W-wait, what?!”

 

“Raphael is friends with Mags, they talk all the time. Mags was telling me about how Raphael said he was seeing a man, but he wouldn’t say who. You’re the only single guy here, unless he was with one of our crew that goes in a different bus.”

 

“...Promise you won’t tell.”

 

“I promise. I’m not too good with feelings, but Mags can help you if you want me to tell him. It can just be between us.”

 

Simon nodded. “Thanks, Alec. Really.”

 

The dark-haired man patted Simon’s shoulder. “I know how it feels to be confused like that. It’s not fun.”

 

“Alec! Come dance!”

“Mags-!”

 

Simon laughed as Alec was yanked out of his chair, and looked up at Clary who stood in front of him, her hand extended. “May I have this dance?” She giggled. Simon laughed as well in response.

  
“You may!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! Feel free to go to my [Tumblr ](http://larlarinlalaland.tumblr.com) if you have any prompts or ideas for this fic, I'm open to suggestions!


	3. Seattle: Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus, Alec and Simon have dinner, Saphael happy cuddles ensue.

“Alec told me your situation.”

“Look, Magnus, I need to-”

“I know, your performance is soon. Just, come with me after. Alec and I will take you to dinner. We're all splitting up to eat anyways.” Magnus patted Simon’s shoulder. “Sexuality is confusing, especially when you don't know exactly how you feel. I want to help you, Simon.” He smiled at the other man. “Now get out there and do fantastic as always.”

Simon smiled a little. “You said my name right.”

“Don’t used to it, Solomon.”

~

The concert went well, despite Simon being anxious. When they started their closing song “Forever Young” (which he sang with Clary), he felt himself finally relax, ready to talk to Magnus and Alec.

“Thank you, Seattle!” Simon smiled and waved at the end of their song. “Now, I won’t be able to be at the signing after this, same with Alec. We need to catch our restaurant reservation, sadly. I hope you guys understand! Hopefully Jace, Clary, and Iz will be enough for you!”

“I’m always enough.” Jace replied cheekily into the microphone, which was followed by screams.

~

“Wow, this is really good. Have you been in Seattle before, Magnus?”

“Briefly, I haven't been in here before, though.”

Simon was glad that they didn't start immediately when they arrived to the restaurant, instead they talked about the city for a while. He was incredibly nervous, sexuality was confusing and he was afraid that he may never find a label that would fit him. The thing about labels, at least for Simon, is that he didn't want to label himself for other people, he wanted a label to know that he wasn't alone. That other people had gone through what he was before.

“So, Simon.” The young man looked up from his fish at Magnus.

“I understand your agreement with Raphael, and I’m glad he’s willing to wait for you. Just...promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“You don't hurt him. He’s a great man, and he doesn't deserve some kid breaking his heart.”

“That’s a bit rude.”

“Good.”

“Mags.” Alec’s warning tone made Magnus stop his protective friend speech.

“So you like men and women, yes? Romantically and sexually?”

Memories of stolen nights with Raphael flashed into Simon’s mind. Like that one time when the just started the tour and decided that they should stay at a hotel for at least a night. He remembered going with Raphael to “check out the hotel” which really resulted in him getting pressed into the mattress and loud moaning.

He also remembered a night with his first girlfriend Maureen, when he was about 18. They were at a big crazy party, and they decided “what the hell?”. The difference between sex that night and sex with Raphael three years later was that sex with Maureen was giggly and fun. They were completely sober, just happy to be around each other. Sex with Raphael was just as fun, but intense. The feeling of Raph’s chest pressed against his back, moaning words of praise…

“Definitely.” Simon nodded.

Magnus hummed softly as he thought, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together.

“Simon, have you ever heard of Pansexuality?”

Simon shook his head in reply, looking curious . “No, what is it?”

“Well, some people say it’s similar to being bi, though others disagree. Basically, it’s being attracted to all genders, all gender identities, all sexualities. Well, except of course lesbians.” Magnus chuckled.

Simon stared at Magnus in shock. “That’s it.” He whispered.

Alec looked over at Simon, hesitating before reaching out and patting the younger man’s back. “You’re pan, Simon?”

Simon was grateful for Alec’s comforting touch. “Yeah...yeah, I am.” Simon smiled happily. “I’m pan.” Simon choked out as he felt tears in his eyes. They weren’t sad, or necessarily happy. No, they were relieved tears. He was so god damn relieved he wasn’t going to be confused forever.

“Simon? Are you alright?” Mangus asked, a bit shocked at the other man’s tears.

“He’s fine, Mags. I can tell. I cried like this when I realized.” Alec smiled comfortingly. Simon was grateful that Alec was being so caring towards him, not that Alec wasn’t usually he just...usually didn’t show it on his sleeve. He was that friend who’d protect you in any fight, Clary was more the friend who’d usually did this. Simon realized he liked this side of Alec.  
“Come on, Simon.” Alec said softly. “Let’s get you to Raphael.”

~

Everyone else decided to sleep somewhere else that night. Lydia had family in Seattle so she and Izzy went to sleep there, Jace and Clary went to some hotel, when Simon asked about Alec and Magnus’s plans, Magnus just smirked and Simon immediately didn’t want to know.

So that left him in the bus, with Raphael.

“H-hey, Raph? Are you still up?”

“Yeah, over here, cariño.” Simon followed Raphael’s voice and smiled when he saw the other man lounging in bed, reading a book which he put away when he saw Simon. “Where were you tonight?”

Simon climbed into bed, smiling happily when arms wrapped around him. “I, uh, I went to dinner.” He told Raphael. “And I need to tell you something.”

Simon’s heart jumped when Raphael looked at him expectantly. For a moment he was afraid Raphael might be mad.

“I-I’m pansexual, Raph.”

Raphael’s eyes widened as he stared at Simon in shock. “You...you figured it out?” Simon nodded in reply.

A grin spread across Raphael face and he grabbed the other man to pull him into a deep kiss.

“I’m so happy for you, amor.” He whispered. “You’re so brave.”

“I-I love you, Raph.” Simon said softly. “I want to be with you.”

“You do? Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. I want you, Raph. I always have.”

Smiles and soft chuckles were exchanged as they embraced. They ended up falling asleep together, in each other arms.

~

“Aw, adorable.”

“Sh, Mags, they’re sleeping.”

“The fuck are you two doing?”

Simon groaned and pressed his face into Raphael’s neck.

“I see last night went well.”

“Thanks to you, Mangus. Thanks.” Simon smiled.

“Are you going to tell the others?” Alec asked. Simon frowned a little, thinking.

“Yeah. This shouldn't be a secret. Just...I’m not sure about making it public yet.”

~

“Guys, I need to tell you something important.”

“Is something wrong?” Clary frowned.

“No, no...everything's fine. Just…” He took a deep breath. “I’m pansexual, and for a while now I’ve been seeing Raphael. We're dating now...I think.”

“That’s right, mi estrella.”

Large smiles spread across everyone’s faces.

“That’s fantastic!” Izzy exclaimed, hugging the two tightly. “Are you happy?”

“Of course I am.” Simon smiled back.

“Good job, man. I know how difficult doing this can be. Well...I don't, but I understand it, you know?” Jace patted Simon’s back.

“Thanks, man.”

Clary couldn't say anything, she was so overjoyed. She simply kissed Simon’s cheek.

“Thank you everyone for being so accepting. It’s been...it’s been really nerve-wracking.”

“We’ll all support you, Simon.” Clary said, a little choked up. “All of us. We all love you so much.”

“I know, I can feel that. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this is short, I'm not too happy with how this came out but hopefully you guys like it. I mentioned in the comments Simon's confusion was based on my own before I came out as pan (which is probably why I'm not happy with this chapter bc I wanna make it perfect.). And I know that Simon's confusion storyline was pretty short, but that was because I want Simon and Raphael's public relationship to be the big part of the story. Feel free to suggest plot points at my tumblr @larlarinlalaland


	4. Spokane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon worries about his image if he comes out publicly. Later, he gets an unpleasant surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE.
> 
> The last chapter was right around my last few weeks of school, so I was a bit stressed, especially since I thought I failed a required class and had no room next year to make it up. It's sorted out now though!
> 
> Now I have online summer school, but I'll try to update quicker for now on. :)

“Mm, Raph…”

“Shh, _amor_. They’ll be back soon.”

They’d been making out in Simon’s bed for a while now. They would go further, but like Raphael said, the others would come back soon. They all went to some bar after their show in Spokane, and Raph and Simon decided to stay in instead.

Simon moaned as Raphael's lips traveled down his neck, his hips grinding into his boyfriend's.

“Mm, like that, baby?” Raphael asked against Simon’s skin, biting gently.

“F-fuck, yes…”

Simon’s phone ringing interrupted the session.

“Damn it, go answer it, _idiota.”_

Simon groaned and rolled out of the bed. He frowned when the ID said it was Clary.

“What is it, Clary?”

“I thought that you guys would like to know that we’re all staying at a motel. We’re all a little too drunk to get back, so we decided to just stay nearby.” She giggled. “Thought maybe you’d appreciate it.”

“Definitely. You have a good night.”

“Not as good as yours will be.”

Simon hung up, a large grin on his face. “They aren't coming back, Raph.”

The response was immediate.

“Get your ass back here.”

~

“Fuck…”

“Again?”

“Shut up.” Simon grinned, wrapping his arms around Raphael. “At least let me rest for a second.”

Raphael chuckled and held Simon close, his hand stroking up and down the younger man’s back. “Does it feel different?”

“What, your dick?”

“No, _idiota_ , I mean coming out. It’s been so long for me, I can't remember when I wasn't out.”

Simon thought for a moment. “It feels...I don't know...it just feels like I’m being honest now.”

Raphael nodded and kissed Simon’s forehead. “Get some sleep, _mi estrella.”_

“Okay…”

~

The group decided to spend one more day in Spokane after the show, seeing as this practice was happening almost every time they stopped somewhere. Since Simon and Raphael had officially gotten together, they spent the extra days together. Sometimes they would stay in the bus, but more often than not they went out together. When they went out, it was usually to small cafes, or something to that effect.

While Simon was happy that he finally found something he could call himself comfortably, he was still nervous about what the fans would say. Sure, Alec was openly gay, and Simon had been “shipped” with the male members of the band, but…he had no idea if his fans only liked the _idea_ of him liking men over the reality. It was different for him than for Alec. He was the leader of the band, the _face_. Sure, he liked girls as well, but he knew that many people simply thought pan and bi men were simply gay men half in the closet. Most of the fans of Rock Solid Panda, his in particular, were female, and Simon couldn’t help but worry that if he was open with his sexuality, some of would those fans would leave, or worse, bombard Raphael with hate.

It was a stupid fear, he knew his fans loved him and supported everything he’s done so far in his career. He just didn’t want to ruin this good thing he had in his life.

These fears were pushed out of his mind whenever he was with Raphael. Cool hands on his, that smile that made his heart skip a beat…

“ _Amor_? Are you alright?”

“Hm? Yeah. Just thinking.” Simon smiled at his boyfriend, taking a sip of his soda before taking a bite of his pizza. It was pretty good, but not as good as the pizza in Brooklyn. “When we’re done eating, do you want to go dancing?”

“I don’t like dancing, _idota_.”

“You’re such an old man, Raph!” Simon whined, pouting. “I want to dance with my sexy boyfriend? Please, Raph? _Pleeeease_?”

Raphael groaned, unable to deny his adorable boyfriend’s pout. “Fine, but only for a little while.”

Simon grinned in triumph and leaned in to give Raphael a kiss. “Thank you!” He giggled.

“This is only because I love you.” He grumbled.

Simon laughed and finished his pizza. As he did so, Raphael waved over a waiter and ordered a couple more slices.

“I thought you said that last slice would be your last one?” Simon frowned.

“That was before you said we were dancing after we finished the last slice. I’m drawing this out.”

~

Later that night, when Simon finally dragged Raphael out of the pizza parlor, they sat together at a table near the bar. They danced for a little while until Raphael said he was uncomfortable, and then opted to just sit and drink instead.

Their conversation about the Star Wars prequels was cut short ("I think they were  _fine_!" "You're  _insane_!") when his phone buzzed. Since the band got popular, Simon had turned off notifications for all his social media accounts, which meant someone was texting him.

[Clary] Check your Twitter

[Simon] What? Why? What's going on.

[Clary] Check it NOW.

"What is it?" Raphael tried to lean over the table to see what was going on as soon as a frown appeared on his face.

"No clue. Clary told me to check my Twitter."

 

When he did so, his heart stopped.

It was a photo of Simon and Raphael, just a few hours ago in that pizza parlor, kissing.

"Fuck."

"What is it,  _mi estrella_? What's wrong?"

"They took a photo of us, Raph. Oh my god...someone followed us and took a photo of us kissing...fucking shit!"

He quickly checked his notifications within the app, it wasn't much better.

_tf @SLewis?! Why didn't you tell us? You have to!_

_@SLewis @RockSolidPanda is this a prank?_

_Why isn't @SLewis making out with @jaceofmanynames??? He's so much hotter than that other guy!!! #Jimon @RockSolidPanda_

_I thought @SLewis said he trusted us and loved us. Guess that's a lie._

Simon felt tears welling up in his eyes. This isn't what he wanted his coming out to be like. He looked up at Raphael and saw that he was on his phone as well. His expression wasn't sad, no.

It was  _furious._

"How fucking  _dare_ they say that shit about you!" Raphael growled. "Fucking asshats!"

"R-Raph, calm down..."

The other man's face softened. "You don't deserve this,  _amor._ I'm so sorry." Raphael got up from his seat and hugged his boyfriend tightly. Simon buried his face in the crook of Raphael's neck as his tears started to fall. He felt Raph move his arms, probably checking his phone.

"Baby, Simon,  _mi estrella,_ look at these."

Simon sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes before turning his body around and reading Raph's phone.

_This is an absolutely disgusting thing to do to someone, even if they are a celebrity. Love you @SLewis. #ILoveSimonLewis_

_I'm sorry that Simon didn't get to say how he feels himself can't imagine how he feels right now. #ILoveSimonLewis_

_#ILoveSimonLewis because no one deserves to be forced to come out to millions_

_I hope @SLewis gets lots of cuddles from his cutie boyfriend today, I'll do it myself if I need to #ILoveSimonLewis_

_Disappointed in the Pandas today. #ILoveSimonLewis and I'm sad that others don't love him enough to respect his privacy._

Simon was silent as he read the tweets, even more warm tears flooding down his face.

"Take me back to the bus."

~

Simon had the entire crew meet back at the bus. They all sat in silence as Clary knelt in front of Simon with her phone pointed at him. His face was still red and puffy from crying as he gathered up a deep breath and nodded at Clary to start recording.

"Hi guys. It's Simon here. I just...I wanted to say that I'm disappointed in a lot of you. I, along with the rest of the band have talked about-...Have talked about how you should all respect our privacy, which includes following band members around while we're not doing a show. I'm disappointed in who took that photo and thought I was okay to post it. I'm pansexual, and I'm proud of it. I have a boyfriend that I'm proud of too. This is all very new, I've only started coming out to friends and family a couple weeks ago. I was scared to come out publicly. While I'm not obligated to come out to all of you, I was planning to. As I've said in previous interviews and videos, I like being as honest as I'm able to you guys, but what held me back was negativity, and that's exactly what I got. But not all of you did that, and for that I thank you. I especially want to thank...what was the username? I want to thank...MaureenLuvsU for starting the hashtag #ILoveSimonLewis. You, and everyone who used that tag helped me see that not everyone is angry with who I am. The band and I decided to postpone the next show in Boise for a few days, since I won't be able to perform at my best. We'll take one more extra day before we set off again. Until then, Pandas, think about if this happened to you. Even if I am an "celebrity" or whatever, I value my privacy as much as you all would in this situation. I expected more out of all of you. Have a good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the angst! I promise that next chapter will be cuddly fluff, because Simon needs it
> 
> Go visit my Tumblr @larlarinlalaland!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like it! Feel free to visit me on Tumblr @larlarinlalaland
> 
> Spanish:
> 
> De nada, estrella de rock - you're welcome, rock star
> 
> Mi estrella - my star
> 
> Mi amor - my love
> 
> Cariño - darling


End file.
